Kilaya attributes his success to a torturous illness. In 1999 he contracted Chronic Fatigue Syndrom and it re-aquainted him with mystery. Everything about CFS is mysterious. Doctor’s only scratch their heads and make guesses about what causes it. Kilaya sees it in hindsight as a wake up call. It brought him to a full stop. He had to go back to the drawing board and re-figure out his life.
A serious illness makes you reconsider life and forces you to review your values. “What are you fighting for?” it asks. “Is this cause yours or someone else’s?” After three years of being hit over the head with these types of questions by CFS he finally budged and decided to do something different, something closer to his heart. He dropped his life like a hot rock and started over with empty hands.
Ten years later he looks back on every second since then and sees God’s hand. He feels guided now, aware of what’s really important to him and trying everyday to bring his life closer to those heart-centered values.
His gratitude to his guru and guiding light, Amma, is impossible to express fully in a million billion blogs. [www.amma.org] He only hopes he can give back to others a speck of what he has been given.
He still doesn’t have a home anywhere but for now, his guru tolerates his presence at her ashram in Kerala, India and so do his parents in Southampton, New York. But who needs a home when you have God in your heart?