“What truth?”

“Do not try to bend the spoon.
That is impossible.
Instead only try to realize the truth.”

“What truth?”

“That there is no spoon.
Then you’ll see that it is not the spoon that bends,
it is only yourself.”

conversation between two “potentials” within the movie “The Matrix”

Bend yourself!

How many of us have witnessed at some time or another that something in our life changed on its own when we changed our attitude? Quite a few I believe. How many have observed that our attitude shifted after we stopped some type of behavior? Maybe just as many.

Recently I was trying to get an appointment with a specialist doctor on Long Island where I am currently staying. In order to get the appointment I had to go through one staff member at a local health center. For some reason she didn’t answer her telephone and she didn’t return my messages. After a few weeks I tried to go around her, thinking that she just wasn’t interested in helping me. I tried working with other office staff members at first and then I tried getting to her through other staff members of the clinic but they all redirected me back to her voice mail saying that she was the only way that I would get an appointment. A part of me wanted to panic, thinking that I was trapped. The only person who could help me didn’t like me for some reason. Almost four weeks passed with me leaving maybe 20 voicemails in my most pleasant voice, begging her to at least acknowledge that she had gotten my messages. No response.

My mind wanted to get angry, to storm the walls of the bastille, so to speak, but I remembered this lesson that I had used in the past: you want different results then just change your attitude. So I banished any negative feelings and started to flood the image I had of this staff member with love, sending her flowers and chocolates in my mind. I forced my mind to imagine meeting her and showering her with an expression of my gratitude and love. It was weird how easy my mind started taking to these visions of appreciation. So, soon I was generally feeling love for this person I had never met. My mind developed a certainty (from where I don’t know) that she was truly a very special person.

Within a few days of my noticing that my heart had really gotten on board with this forced re-programming I got a call from the staff person. She was all apologies, making up all kinds of excuses for not calling me back (for almost a month) and sounding super nice. She then immediately set up an appointment for me and was very responsive the next few times I had to work with her.

I had a very eery feeling that I had created the person that had helped me so much; that she wasn’t “real.” It seemed impossible how nice and caring she sounded only a few days after I had developed genuine heart feelings for her (in my imagination). She had changed suddenly, impossibly. She was my spoon but it wasn’t like she had bent, it felt more like she had been turned into gold.



About Kilaya

Kilaya is a yogi who is also well-versed in the sciences. He studied physics and mathematics at college, biology and molecular biology on his own, fluid dynamics while working as a professional plumber and has always had a passion for in-depth psychology. Now he adds what he has learned from his spiritual master, Amma, and from his life as a professional astrologer to his writings in order to make discoveries that may inspire others.

Posted on April 19, 2015, in The Matrix/Maya and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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